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It seems like people, including myself, keep going back to the same things. I really wish not to do that and be something else, but here we go again, back to feeling the same way. It is easy to feel sad. You really don't have to try.

How many books, blogs, and advice is out there to obtain happiness? By my counts, endless. I recently wrote on my board in my classroom a quick question for the students to answer:

How important is it to be happy?

Sometimes the best way to reach a goal is to think the opposite. In other words, what are the best ways to make myself sad? Don't take this list seriously, rather do your best to find the humor in the obvious. So here is a better question:

How can I be the Saddest Saddo Sailing on the Sea of Sadness?

#1 Stay Still

Remain indoors as much as possible and don't move. Do nothing. Sit and be still. Don't let the lures and temptation of a beautiful day take you outside.  May your radius of living be small as it can be. Let your purpose be to do nothing as much as possible. 

#2 Mess with your Sleep

Insomnia is the best way to reach new levels of sadness.  A good sleep cycle takes at least 3 days to establish so do everything you can to vary your bedtimes throughout the week and even better your wake times. Tell yourself you deserve this and you don't need sleep as much as others do because you are a special magical snowflake that is the one exception to the rule. 

Not convinced - CLICK HERE for more

#3 Maximize your screen time

Put electronics in your face at all moments before your slumber to ensure you keep melatonin (a hormone that allows you to reach deep sleep) suppressed. Don't be bored because you will find something to do. Put a screen in your face and help yourself awake and unbored as long as possible. Feeling tired? No worries, Facebook, Netflix, Twitter, Snap Chat, and YouTube are here to help you not feel that awful feeling that biology proves is necessary. And as soon as you wake up, check all that you missed on your screen from the few hours you weren't checking. 

#4 Use your Screen to fuel your fire of Negative Emotions 

Feed your anger, resentment, jealousy on things you have no control over. Let all the information you seek be the biased kind and bare witness to the filtered snapshots that say 1000 words of negative you desperately don't and do want to hear.  Focus on the bad by searching it out and voice none of these concerns with people who care about you and who have different opinions. 

#5 Make V.A.P.I.D. Goals not S.M.A.R.T. 

V- Vague

A - Amorphous

P - Pie in the Sky

I - Irrelevant

D - Delayed 

Both the target and path should be unclear. Have no time frame for your goals and be sure to share with no one. You can always aim ridiculously high to maximize failure. "I will clean the whole house today" rather a SMART goal like "I will do the laundry." The whole house is impossible because there is always more to do. And wait for motivation rather than create it yourself.  

"You will do it when you FEEL like it"

#6 Pursue Happiness Directly

By seeking happiness directly you will reach the opposite. Imagine Happiness is a place where happy people are happy all the time. This turns happiness into an unreachable feeling of constant bliss that no one has. Always focus on the outcome and never the task at hand.  (Click HERE for more on this)

#7 Follow your Instincts Always

Just do what you want. You will want to do nothing, you will want to sleep in, you will want to binge watch Netflix and YouTube all night, you will want to do what you know will make you sadder. Your impulses are rarely thought through and completely disregard the long term, so follow them blindly. 

It's so simple...follow these steps to be miserable. 

You can also watch the video below from CGP Grey illustrating the appove points.