“We are moving out of California?”
“I am switching jobs, I am not passionate about it anymore”
“I just fell out love with it”
“I need to find my joy again, I’m not happy”
You have been given terrible advice. And that advice is, follow your passion and find your happiness. As if happiness was a buried treasure we are counting our paces with a special map and finding something that no else is able to find. What if HAPPINESS wasn’t something to find as much as it was something you create.
I have had many friends move out of state or change jobs for many reasons but its seems a majority of them share one idea in common - the grass is greener on the other side.
The grass is not greener on the other side
The grasser is greener where you water it
Now, there are legitimate reasons to move or change jobs. However, it seems more and more we are giving our selves excuses and justifications too seek happiness and re-discover our passions.
Our perspective is off. We perceive that others are way more happy then we are. We must want what they have. We have grown up in a culture and society where things like social media have created us to be hyper-focused on Comparison.
I teach high and coach school students. More then ever the anxiety of “Not being good enough” or their “rank” in their class is driving kids to some of the highest levels of anxiety and stress I have ever seen in my career.
The latest study was published in April in the Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics. Based on data collected from the National Survey of Children’s Health for ages 6 to 17, researchers found a 20 percent increase in diagnoses of anxiety between 2007 and 2012.
Comparison is the thief to all joy
Comparison is incredibly short-sighted, and if we focus only on success of others, we do it at our own expense. (1)
There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self - Ernest Hemmingway
Focus on your own journey. Focus on where you are now. Love the process of becoming great. Make yourself happy (fake it until you make it if you have too).
Passions change. Happiness is not lost and waiting to be found.
The grass could be greener where you are RIGHT NOW, just water it more.
Learn to love what you do. Learn to focus on your own journey and not compare.
“You must always keep perspective. It is easy to lose it, and when you lose perspective you forget that this life is but a vapor; we are here today and gone tomorrow. Do not waste your life! Focus on what truly matters, and do not fall for the lies of the comparison thief.” (2)
(1) Chop Wood, Carry Water - chapter 14