If you really think about it, we are insignificant.
If the Milky Way Galaxy was the size of the United States, our world would be the size of a coffee mug! You are just one person throughout history in that mug. And as insignificant as we really are, we really want to matter. We want to feel approval.
Whether we choose to acknowledge it or not, the desire for validation is one of the strongest motivating forces known to man.
Most people on the planet crave or have a thirst for a sense of feeling important, validation, acceptance, approved, or what they do matters.
What quenches this thirst?
A teenager generally seeks the validation of their peers. Wives want the approval of their husbands, and visa versa. But it doesn’t stop there!
Employees want to hear the phrase “well done” from their employer, just as authors want to please their readers. The fact is, we all have a longing for validation.
Money, a big house, a nice car, your child's grades, or how good of an athlete you are, were, or your kid is will not satisfy this thirst. Sadly, many spend their entire lives trying to quench this thirst with things that never measure up.
Seems like most sports movies are about a son/daughter seeking the validation from their parent or coach. If we feel approved of by our parents, it will be easier to develop a healthy degree of self-esteem. If we are constantly belittled or criticized, our sense of self-esteem will suffer. Think Chris Boz.
So listen up:
- You Matter!
- You are Great!
- You are Needed!
- You make an impact everyday in countless ways!
Now that you have been validated, below is a list of ways to validate your people:
- Spend time listening.
- Show genuine interest in their activities.
- Celebrate their successes.
- Be patient with failures, and encourage future effort (but not until they feel safe and they feel as though they have processed their failure).
- Spend time with your children for no reason at all – except that they are your children and you feel they are worthy of your time.
- When they are emotional, don’t dismiss it or disapprove of it. Instead, focus on them and show you care by really paying attention.
- Ask their opinions and invite collaboration and integration.
People feel validated when they know they matter, when they feel safe, and when they trust that we care enough to act in their best interests. Taking the time to validate and accept our people unconditionally builds resilience, confidence, and a powerful sense of self that promotes high self-worth and wellbeing.
Today, give someone the validation they greatly need and desire.
"You are Awesome!"